Don’t let your parent’s dementia take years off your life or take life from your years.
GET YOUR FREE GUIDE: LEARN EXACTLY WHAT TO DO AND WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN TALKING TO YOUR PARENT WITH DEMENTIA
I am so glad you found me because it means you have a parent who has Alzheimer’s Disease or another form of dementia and you’re struggling...
...because it’s freakin’ hard.
You love your mom/dad so much and you hate that they have this dreaded disease - you hate watching them go through it and you hate how the disease keeps taking them away from you, bit by bit.
You also feel a little guilty because you aren’t willing or able to be there more for them. You’re not the primary caregiver and have no intention to be one.
You want to be helpful, to know how to best advocate for them, to be more understanding and use this disease as a chance to heal and strengthen your relationship with them before they’re too far gone. (And if you need a little something to feel more confident in all of this, take a look at my free guide that's all about how to relate to our parent with dementia).
And I know that, because that’s what we do here.
You’re in the right place.
Here, at Age Awesomely, we know all too well the challenges of being a daughter of a parent with dementia and you need more than resources (which we have), you also need a process to guide you through the inner journey that dementia awakens in us (we have that, too). You need support so you can more confidently walk this path in a way that doesn’t leave you resentful and exhausted, or require you to sacrifice yourself and your own life while being there for them.
We don’t want you to risk losing your parent faster than you have to because you don't know how to connect with them anymore, are impatient and reactive or have so much pain from your childhood that keeps you bitter and resentful.
We want you to see beyond the negative aspects of this disease and allow dementia to teach you how to live in the present moment and experience the precious and tender gifts our parent’s heart can offer us when we can be with them exactly as they are. And to allow yourself to laugh over the oh-so-many crazy things that happen as a result of this befuddling disease.
We want you to take charge of your destiny - the destiny of your relationship with your parent, your own health and how you live the rest of your life.
You need someone who can be by your side as you confront all of the stuff that’s coming up, acclimate to this new normal (that keeps changing), reset your expectations and relate to them as they are (not as they used to be), while also living your own life and taking care of yourself and your family.
Some part of you knows that your parent getting dementia can be a portal to healing your own heart and spirit. That sometimes going through something like this can catalyze us to live our own lives to the fullest.
So we’re doing that here, too!
And it needs to be said - you should never have to apologize for not being the primary caregiver, for bringing in outside help, or for finding a long term care facility for your parent. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself and your own family and happiness to be a loving and caring daughter. Your parent matters and you do, too. I want you to navigate this challenging time in a way that you will look back and feel no regrets. And I can help you do that.
I’ll be your guide, so let me introduce myself.
Hi! I'm Deb, Founder of Age Awesomely
Like you, I’m a daughter of a parent with dementia. My mom was a dementia warrior for about 15 years until she died in May of 2021. In that same year, I turned 51 and officially became post-menopausal. Only a few months later, I learned that I was in the 2% minority of people who have two Apoe4 alleles, which means I have a much higher risk of getting late onset Alzheimers.
Not gonna lie, I’m still processing all of this.
For the past decade, I’ve coached women around self-acceptance, stress management, conscious relating and living a fulfilling life. These days I call myself a Longevity and Life Fulfillment Coach. I’m a Certified Holistic Health Coach from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, a Certified Brain Longevity Coach and natural strategist and problem solver. While I'm not a trauma therapist, I believe it's very important for coaches to be trauma-informed. Over the past 15 years, I've been committed to my own trauma healing and I've also studied trauma healing under Dr. Gabor Mate, Irene Lyon and Thomas Hübl.
I’d been immersed in my own emotional healing while on the journey with my mom as she navigated her battle with dementia and now I’m on my own journey to prevent cognitive decline and disease and optimize my own brain health.
Truth is, I had no idea that we have so much control over our brain health and cognitive destiny.
Now I’m bringing my deep experience around self-acceptance, stress management and cultivating well-being to women like you, daughters of dementia, who need someone to advocate for you as you walk the path of dementia with your mom or dad.
And to those who are interested in optimizing their own brain health, healing from their pasts and living a long, vibrant and healthy life.
Here’s what I believe:
- Having a parent with dementia doesn't have to be a depressing and awful path - we can find a way to navigate it with hope, healing, presence, love and joy.
- The double edged sword about dementia is that it's a long slow death - on the one hand, it can be a painful thing to watch and experience, on the other hand, we have a chance to heal our relationship, come to peace and find closure.
- You have a choice - you can allow having a parent with dementia open you up and soften you or let the stress and discomfort close you down and harden you. (I work with the ones who want it to open and soften them)
- Having a parent with AD/dementia sucks, but it can be the catalyst to live fully, get healthy and come into alignment with your true self.
I’ve chosen to work with
- women (because ⅔ of people with Alzheimer’s Disease are women),
- daughters (because I think it’s a unique situation to be a daughter and to watch your parent go through this) and
- those who are not primary caregivers but want to do everything they can to be a strong advocate for their parent, to heal and grow personally, and to strengthening their relationship with their parent as they come to the end of their life.
Find the Support You Need On This Dementia Journey
It's amazing how much can come up when our parent has dementia. Between keeping up with the ever-changing relationship, staying on top of the progression of the disease and wanting to best support and advocate for them, knowing what to do and facing the loss of our parent as we knew them.
For some of us, the dementia journey with our parent may awaken our own healing journey - healing our relationship with our parent, healing our wounded hearts so our traumas don't manifest into disease (freeing ourselves to live fully), healing our bodies and brains physically, healing our nervous systems and so much more.
What if the best way to live fully NOW is to start with the end in mind? What if facing and preparing for our death is what opens us up to feel free to live without regrets, to love without guarding and to create the life we deeply desire? It also can help us to be with others, like our parents, as they face their own end-of-life.
If you didn't get your free guide, grab it here!
Get instant access to this concise and FREE "Relating to Your Parent with Dementia" guide designed to help you to know exactly what to do and what not to do to create a calmer and more harmonious relationship, without having to do hours of research on the internet.